On my first Mother’s Day with Carl, I remember him telling me ~ “Am I supposed to do something for you? You are not my mom.” (Can you picture me? Or my face?) I have to laugh now because I remember standing in the kitchen and looking at him like an alien. I knew my response had to be one that would not be forgotten.

“I may Not be Your mother, but I am THE mother of your children.”

I think I saw lightning strike! And the next thing I knew I had a Mother’s Day card hand made from a paper napkin on my bed pillow with a flower. These memories crack me up every time I think of them, because Carl was just like that, so sure he was right until I had to politely tell him differently.

Here it is May 10, 2020, and I can say with all seriousness, this Mother’s Day feels strange. I can’t help but miss my Mom and Carl. It’s strange. Maybe because the last mothers’ day I had with Carl in 2014, I remember calling Carl and telling him it was snowing in Denver. I remember waking up and looking outside the apartment window in Wash Park and thinking ~ This is bananas. But it was beautiful and by the afternoon the snow was melted. (I have to smile thinking about this.)

Flash forward 6 years and let’s just say ~ these are some crazy times right now.

I am being more of a MOM now than ever before.

I am cooking every day, spending time being present in the backyard listening to the sounds of my neighbors and wind. I talk with my kids several times a day, we eat and take walks, and talk. It’s actually been nice to be Nathan and Adyn’s MOM and Noah Jude’s Grandma. I love being their Mom and wish more than ever my partner was here to enjoy this time.

Don’t get me wrong, it has been stressful. Social Distancing, not being close to extended family and friends. Work, you name it ~ the stress is there.

BUT...I feel like these last 8 weeks have taught me something. I KNOW who my real friends are, they are the ones who check in, text, pick up your call on the first ring and reach out to make sure I am doing ok. I also know who the relationships are that I need to pay attention to~ and possibly make some changes.

Energy, it all comes down to this ~ on a Day where we get to just be Celebrated as a MOM. It is also a day to pivot and decide where our energy will be focused coming out of our country’s crisis coma. As MOMS, we are the leaders who will show our kids how to respond and move forward. So I am going to relish the memories of those I miss on this day and celebrate with my kids and grandson to prepare for the new frontier.

Happy Mother’s Day~2020