2017 Thanksgiving came and went and I successfully ran my First 5K in San Antonio, Texas.

For many this may not be a huge deal, but for me ~ Seriously I could barely run when I decided to make this a goal for myself. My running instructor had me running 2 minutes and walking a minute when I first started and at the end on Thanksgiving morning, I ran 43 minutes straight. Yep – it took me 43 minutes to run 3.1 miles. But I DID IT!

Since losing Carl and my dad I have had to rebuild my identity. I have had to learn new things and get comfortable in my new body. More importantly I am having to learn how to be alone. It has not been easy.

Three years ago, I thought to myself, "How will I ever learn to live again?"

And now when I say three years~ I have to stop and take a breath. I have gone almost 1200 days without my person. I feel stronger every day I move forward and away from my incredible Grief.

I did not think running would be my friend, let's face it, I did not think exercise would ever be my friend. But then I started into a huge legal battle and needed something to help me. Help me calm down, work through my frustrations and burn the grief.

I met new friends through exercise, who know me for me and call me now to see how I am doing without asking about my past losses. They see me for well, ME.

As a person who makes checklist after checklists, I go down and know I am moving the needle forward IF I can check off a box. So, when I started making lists this last year I listed -

Do things to make myself healthier
Maybe start lifting weights

Maybe do a 5K –BEFORE I turn 50

And in 2017, I have done all three! After losing someone I Loved more than anything in the world who was the athlete in the family, I can now say I feel him in my face when I run outside. He is the burst of cool air that hits me and the voice I hear in my head ~ cheering me on.

Loss can lead you down a narrow slippery slope into a very dark place, and I can say I have started to Run myself out of there!