We will call you when the death certificates are ready….

Now what??! I asked myself. There were so many things to do yet I was emotionally exhausted. Exhausted from comforting others who were sad I had lost my spouse, sad that my life had changed and would never be the same. Sad because there would always be a BEFORE and now an AFTER when I thought of my life story.

The funeral director paused and asked if there was anything else they could do~ but Everything they could do was done. I was lost, standing on the hot pavement knowing that every single person up to this moment had done Everything they could do for me.

I was alone, to figure out the challenges of my late husband’s life and now I had a new title Widow. I was confused and looking for help, I needed direction but from someone who could be impartial, lend a helping hand and not judge me. I needed someone in the deep end of the pool to say I would be alright.

I already had friends telling me they had looked up the 5 stages of grief created by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. And telling me which stage they could help me with…

I needed someone who was not my family to listen and help me make a plan.

When I speak to hospice worker’s I marvel how they usher a family through death knowing that they have another family right after and how they do this with grace and so much compassion, but they acknowledge they end the relationship at death, where the funeral home begins.

When I speak to Funeral home Directors, I tell them what they do is amazing but after the funeral (other than grief support - which I didn’t need the first 12 months) what else can they do? I get a blink-blink of the eyes and they ask me well what else is there?

There is so much to do. This is one of the reasons I started LOLA. So that I could catch that family member before they fall off the cliff after the funeral.

If you or someone you know needs help due to a recent diagnosis or a recent loss, please remember LOLA. We are here to help.