This moment.
Maybe it has taken me 7 years to get to this moment, to realize that what I am doing is for this very moment – this snapshot in time.
Today was difficult, and yesterday was hard…because we knew what was coming. September 28th. The mark of time where we three, sit with our feelings and try and act like – we are ok. But we are not. We are still grieving what we all miss when we share special moments like a wedding or a celebratory dinner… the one person who somehow made us complete. Carl.
Loss is never easy, I explain that when I have an initial consult with a client and new friend because that is what we become as we share the journey together. I made it clear that I would never lie to anyone when it came to grief. It stinks, it stings, and it never gets easier. You just look at it through different lenses.
But today, we went about trying to make ourselves busy. I took the day off with the exception of 2 calls I had to make for work. Then we set out to find some sense of adventure because that is what Carl would have wanted.
After many attempts and the day grew hotter, we settled on lawn ornaments for Halloween, one of Carl’s favorite holidays leading into all the others. We took Noah’s jeep out and showed him how to clean it because every day Carl would come home, come inside, pour a glass of wine, and then go outside to clean his car. He was a maniac about it. Noah played in the bubbles, then we blew up his lawn ornaments and he jumped in to drive his jeep. We cheered and laughed and when the battery died, I jumped on his tricycle and he lept on back yelling- GOOOOO! We laughed and laughed and that was the moment when I saw the pictures later, that I realized we are coming out of the fog. Because we have this beacon of light and laughter leading us…our miracle in all of our darkness – Noah Jude Pipoly.
I always get questions about how I can do what I do ~ well the answer is twofold. One is I love helping others through their darkest moments. The second is, Noah. One day he will look back and say ~ she lived for the moments, gave me her best moments, and always loved me. He will know that life is a journey, and its most precious gift is time spent with those you love.
This moment was picture perfect.
Much Love, Esther
