Breathing

Pause, sit, breathe.

It is now February of 2022, and this is what I do to remind myself that everything will be OK. To breathe in and out sounds simple, but over these last few years, I have learned that we sometimes take advantage of our breath. We don’t give it enough attention.

I marvel at people as they have navigated back in and out of the pandemic, masks, no masks, shots, no shots. Whatever their preference was or is they just do it to move forward. And I ask myself, are they really breathing? Do they understand how to take a profoundly deep breath from the bottom of their belly?

Taking in the 4 -4 -4?

While attending a class instructed by my girlfriend, Stacie Orsagh, a Yoga & Oils extraordinaire, Stacie was the first person to teach me how to take a deep breath. The first time I truly listened and felt it, I was like ~ “How have I been alive all this time?” Of course, sitting in a still space with no distractions helps.

As we moved through 2020, finding our breath was more important than ever, but a new awareness came into being. Breathing in or around others may be dangerous. The very thing we needed and moved through was now playing a trick on us. We sat still, dared not to cough, or sneeze. Our breath was now something we were leaning into and having to manage.

It’s been a few years of this, and many of us are experiencing pandemic burnout. We are tired and weary trying to work, raise our families, and keep up with the ever-changing mandates. Layer on top the grieving people who need a shoulder to cry on, and breathing has a whole different meaning. When you grieve, your breath is part of your healing.

In the last quarter of 2021, I leaned into genuinely learning how to breathe with my Coach, Diana Duncan. She showed me how to help myself through breath and body awareness, so on the days when I start to feel overwhelmed, I stop. If I am driving, I pull over and park. Close my eyes and take in a deep breath and simply breathe. And when I do this, I allow that little zone of sadness, joy, and gratitude to seep in to remind me how lucky I am.

So do this~ close your eyes,

4 seconds breathe in, 4 seconds hold, 4 seconds exhale 

Repeat

And let your mind go.

2022 ~ we are ready for whatever you bring.

Grateful

Grateful.

It is an appropriate word for this time of year~

I have to admit, the past two years have been a roller coaster, and I have had a VIP pass to all of the events. When 2020 began, I had high hopes for LOLA. I was in my 4th year of a start-up business, and the year was off to a great start.

Clearly, I remember being in Laredo, Texas, and hearing the County Judge at a hospital ribbon-cutting event say, "we are shutting everything down." I drove back to San Antonio feeling like I was living in a movie, unbelievable. The ensuing days that followed were surreal, with businesses large and small feeling the effect of a pandemic. WHAT NOW?

PPP. PPE. EIDL….

Covid19 immunizations, are they to be trusted? Rushed.

I could see and feel the turmoil, but we at LOLA lived through this reality on another side. Families were separated, medical professionals were overwhelmed and, medical facilities were bursting at the seams. Families were suffering; they were unprepared and grieving without the human touch that is so essential before, during, and after a loss. Our new reality was only beginning.

I can recall walking a client through the decisions and process of her mom coming off the ventilator. We discussed plans and her sadness. Hours later, I answered her phone call only to hear the cries of a daughter wishing she had more time, wishing she could hold her mom.

2020 was brutal ~ there were so many families affected.

As we entered 2021, there was hope.

Except, my reality for the new year was not what I had hoped for and envisioned. I got painfully sick, had double pneumonia, lost 12 pounds, and felt weak—what a horrible way to begin a new year. We were at the height of a pandemic.  Families were calling, companies were calling, and I was lying on my back ~ taking calls and forwarding them to other LOLA Advocates. For almost four months, I felt helpless.

I spent the rest of 2021 crawling back up, getting back to what was necessary for company growth, and focusing on life. I allowed myself to be vulnerable, and for the first time in years, I allowed myself to eat and gain weight. I learned to ask for help from my children and yield to them.

If 2021 taught me anything, it was to learn to love myself and the world. My heart was a sponge. When the people who meant the most to me were hurting, my body took it all on. I became a human storage unit of grief. I had to make a change.

I think, as an entrepreneur, one of the most honorable things to know is when you have grown a business to its potential in your mind and turn it over to a new style of potential to develop even further.  So, in November, I took a step. I put myself back on the ledge, and with the help of great Coaches, I told myself it was time to focus on what I LOVE and get out of the way. Get a new breath of freshness into LOLA.

This new year, 2022, holds the most excitement for the company LOLA as her (Lola's) grandson, whom she loved, takes the wheel and charges forward so I can focus on growth in a new direction. The most loving thing I can do is respect what I dreamt about, grew, and made into a healthy 6-year-old – be, become, and continue to inspire myself and help others.

Cheers to 2022, to coming out of the fog, gaining clarity, and for me, holding more hands and Loving LOLA. And if the world throws us more lemons, let us make lemonade.

Esther