Personal Touch

If we learned anything in 2020, it is the fact that the importance and value of human touch are so vital to our physical and mental well-being.

The automation of working from home, zoom calls, and longer days with less time in between became the new norm to the point of exhaustion. We no longer had the commute to work and back home to release the day or let go of whatever was on our minds. Our days became filled with zoom school for our kids, quarantine, or isolation when someone had Covid19 followed by Covid19 tests and unfortunately dealing with the death of a loved one whose family we could not console.

As we stumbled on in 2020 things became clearer and clearer to me that people in the most traumatic moments still needed personal guidance and support. I know If I had to download one more app to get to what I needed I was going to scream. As we worked with families through the tough moments, it became increasingly clear, they simply needed the sound of a human voice telling them we had them covered. They were not alone.

Everyone comes to us from a different angle or point in a life transition, and no two clients needing help to have a direct line of answers to their questions. It really is a Concierge style of supporting them through these moments that we learn to welcome them into our LOLA family.

So, while our world got smaller through online apps, video, and live streaming, we learned that when you are dealing with a family who has a loved one that is going to transition or has passed away, there is no automation to the process of love and caring in those difficult moments.

When I lost my dad and then my husband 63 days apart, I used to say “if one more company sends me one more checklist or a link to go to an automated checklist, I will scream! What I need is a human, to tell me where to begin, how to take care of myself and, remind me they were there to help ME.”

Some days are harder than others, and in the last 12 months, I have heard grief expressed much differently than ever before. So many have been alone in their grief, unable to share with family members and friends because we were not allowed to gather outside of our homes. I have been honored to have those difficult conversations with families so they understand what is about to happen and how they can be as prepared as possible for one of the darkest times in their lives.

Simply put, there is no app or online system that can do what only a human being can do especially a human with a passion to care for perfect strangers. That is why we have such great Advocates and Trusted Partners, people who truly want to help and dive into the deep end and hold your hand.

We all still need the personal touch.

See You Later Alligator! You are in my rearview mirror.

That is how I feel about 2020. I can honestly say I have had some of the highest highs and lowest lows this year. From a fabulous start in January to a halting screech in March. Panicking over how I will make it through and keep my business alive. Trying to help families via video and phone calls. It all seemed so overwhelming. And honestly, I was scared. 

Then there was a moment when I stopped, listened, and thought about what the universe was telling me. I realized, that even when I thought the loneliness would kill me someone called me, texted me, or reached out. I learned to tell those people I really and truly loved that I loved them. I created space in relationships that no longer needed my attention.  I leaned into what I was feeling and let myself be angry or cry.  I even realized that maybe this was preparing me for something else.  

I have seen the best and worst in people, and in a year with so much friction and distractions, I had to learn to pay attention to what our society was turning into. We are so divided that we have forgotten how to love each other without reservation.

I don’t know about you but I long for the days to be in a crowd, to sit in a restaurant, or have the freedom to have dinner with friends. I long to just go to a spin class and as the lights go out and the music starts to pump, I can breathe into my body and let it go as my friends all around me do the same thing.  I now know what I really appreciate and what I miss so much.

I miss the human touch, reactions, embraces, handshakes, and kisses. 2020 came in with a vision and as I look back in a clear view, I see that I am forever thankful for all of you who have supported me. I don’t know what 2021 will bring, but I am hopeful that things will improve. Let’s face it, we may never be the same again, but if we can possibly do one thing a day to make one other person’s day better then let us start there.

Be the One who can make a difference…a call, a text, and an unexpected moment of gratitude towards a stranger. 

In the meantime, as we say See You Later Alligator to 2020 ~

 Let’s invite in, the elephant in the room – 2021.

Meltdowns

Meltdowns were happening before we all had to go home. We would call each other and tell each other how much work we had and how busy we were and how tired we were... then one day it all started to change, and as each day grew into another, we had to slow down, pivot, and find new ways to communicate, work with our clients and coworkers. Let’s face it, we all watched paint dry on the wall.

Our new norm has been to cram as many Zoom or WebEx calls into a day to feel like we were still busy and not losing ground. We have been tirelessly trying to figure out how to balance kids, spouses, and work all the while watching the world slowly come to a pause.

So, as I start to review emails coming in from different groups and publications taking notice of the Mental Health of their workforce and providing resources, I want to share my thoughts with you.

These last few weeks have felt like the time period right after my husband died when I felt sad and heavy and numb. I started to have the classic STERBS again, you know, eating, drinking, shopping too much. I was doing some things like an Indy 500 driver and other things like a sloth. I could not find balance. When he passed, grief and depression found me on my employer's 5th-floor bathroom floor. Crying so hard I could not catch my breath. I didn’t see the signs coming at me until I was there, in that space on the floor.

So, in these last few weeks, I have had to “check myself” and find new ways to love myself. I have had to slow down, remember to make lists and find time to love my family. Because NOW, will never happen again. Making dinner together, eating together, watching tv, taking walks together, or just talking outside will be hard to do once we start to re-enter the new frontier. So LIVE in the NOW.

The publications and emails are not wrong, some of us are at home and isolated and not handling things so well, and others are filling up the space so tight we feel our heads are going to pop off and when we return to work, we will be exhausted and have a Meltdown.

SO, take a deep breath 4,3,2, 1...in and out and breathe.

If you need support, there are several resources we can point you to for help. We work with a team of wonderful professionals. We are here to be a heart with ears for you and most of all remember you are LOVED.

www.lossoflifeadvocates.com