Difficult Moments Lead to Change

By Esther Pipoly, CEO & Founder, LOLA

I worked in the employee benefits division for 20-plus years, and throughout that time, I had the benefit of working with many insurance brokers. When I exited the insurance industry to start LOLA in 2016, I had a lot of insight into brokers who worked for their clients and brokers who showed up and left.

I have always had respect for Brokers because they were the hunters, and we (Account Managers) were the day-to-day problem solvers and managers of relationships. Since 2016, when I started LOLA, I have had the privilege of meeting some of the Best Industry Professionals across the country. Professional women and men who genuinely do their best for their clients and their teams. They seek out the next best product, investigate and find new and improved solutions for their clients. They always want to learn more to be the Best. So WHY am I writing about this?!

With that said, I was eating brunch this past weekend, and who should walk in but one of the WORST brokers I ever worked with, and for~ I immediately felt sick.

Until that moment at Sunday brunch, I had tried entirely to forget about this old broker/boss. But WHOA, the flashbacks and memories of working for a very unpleasant person came over me like a wave. As soon as I saw him, I could not push past the memories of a time I had tried to suppress. 

Immediately the memories came flooding back: while we were presenting to a client, he kicked me from beneath the table; another time, he scolded me for an error, and there were incidences of this person in my face breathing down my neck. I watched him make promises to new prospective clients of things he nor I could not produce. There were so many things, but I should stop here ~ I had tried to erase him, and the time we worked together from my memory.

The Fall season is about change, and while this BLOG is not about the leaves turning or the weather finally getting cooler, it is about change and looking back on my life and career. In that Brunch moment, I realized I had gone through difficult moments in my career. And therefore, creating LOLA was so important to me. As I walked out of the restaurant, a small part of me thought ~ Thank you for reminding me how strong I am. Welcome, Fall. Change is good.

2020 ~You know that one friend? The award goes to…

For me, 2020 brought out the best and worst of all of us. We quickly figured out who was in our corner and who we needed to be wary of…. The ones that made you laugh, who encouraged you, and those who you decided needed to be blocked because the differences were too loud for you. For me this year has brought back the people & friendships who have leaned into me and I into them.  

But there is THE one person who is one of my FAVORITE people in the whole wide world who helped me make it through 2020.  You know, the person you could get stuck in an elevator with and laugh for hours…and when the firemen open the doors you go, “how you doing?” Friends style…

A little back story.

The first time I met my person of 2020, we were a match made in life… we met in 2006 at PCA Health Plan. We worked together and celebrated moments of happiness, talked about Seinfeld episodes, and also vented about our ongoing management that was ever-changing. We drove miles to be with each other to have lunch. And when one day at lunch he said he was having heart surgery he did it so fast between, by the way, and turned to the waiter at lunch and said I will have an ice-tea, I almost died…like…umm I need a little bit more runway for this type of news!

So, for years, my 2020 person was the one I could pick up the phone and say ~ HEY, How, you Doing? ~ (Friends style) and we would pick right up no matter how many days, months, or years went by.

But then came the dark time when my 2020 person walked me through my dad’s end-of-life transition. He was My Person to say ~ it sucks, but time will heal you~ and he was right.

And within weeks, as my husband laid in a bed dying my husband said ~ CALL JOSE, HE KNOWS WHAT TO DO AND WILL BE THERE FOR YOU.

And yes, Jose, my 2020 person, was there on the runway at the San Antonio international airport, waiting for me and probably got the only scream I let out loud. My only moment of losing it…he was so calm and cool you know the voice I needed to hear at that time. ~ Pip I got you~ he said.

So, fast forward and pop into 2020, and yep IF I could go through this year with ANYONE, for me it was my friend Jose Martinez.  We laughed so much this year, masks on, hand sanitizer spray you name it, we had curiosity around what was going on in the world and had moments of sadness and disbelief, and we did it together.  I am so Thankful for a friend like him and his partner Paul, who put up with us! 

Who is your 2020 person of the year?

Flying SOLO

Life Transition.

It is never easy. As I sat on a zoom call with a group of professional women today discussing Grief, we all shared our thoughts on how this year has felt and all the different things we have experienced.

I sat staring into the eyes of a Beautiful woman, who had lost her husband unexpectantly this year. She and her adult daughters were devastated, and I could see myself in her. I spoke in the kindest voice I could offer her and heard myself say ~

 “I am in my 6th year and I have had to make some hard decisions this year, one being to begin my own life for myself and it has been difficult. One of my kids is angry for the decision to pull away and the other cheers me on, just know, I am here to hold the flashlight for you.”

I sat back and reflected.

Yes, this year has had many transitions.  Selling my childhood home, thinking I could live with my son and his fiancé in what we were trying to build together ~ a generational home. But as the days inched closer, I thought, I still needed to be by myself and learn to love myself alone. How would I ever even open the possibility of allowing someone else to love me if I am living with my son? I am 52. I know I am still young, and Carl told me to LOVE AGAIN.

So slowly putting the wheel in motion, I pulled out my excel spreadsheet to begin the journey. I know it sounds crazy, but I needed to know my baseline on finances, I needed to understand how I would do this ~ alone. I went to meet my lawyer and he encouraged me to be set free to fly on my own. He then said something I found myself leaning my head back and laugh at, he said ~ “EVEN AN ADVOCATE NEEDS AN ADVOCATE!”

I knew I needed to get my life-long items out of the house and that it would charge emotions, so I took my lawyer’s advice and hired Lone Star Legacy Liquidators who is not only a Trusted Partner for LOLA but also a LOLA Advocate.

Jesse Morales and his team walked through the list and showed up, packed and boxed everything and I didn’t even have to show up!  They handled everything down to reorganizing my storage unit. They held my hand through this life transition, and I am forever grateful. While flying solo is scary for me, I have landed in the softest place ever with a friend who loves puzzles, gardening, and WINE. It’s a start and I know my kids will eventually see that this selfish move is not more than a move for me to finally fly solo.

I am so lucky, my kids have landed and found love and partners and I always said once they found people who loved them as much as I did then I could move on.  I think this is called a life transition and yes, I did need a LOLA Advocate and am so thankful for Jesse and his team.

 #lossoflifeadvocates #griefsupport #guidance