Difficult Moments Lead to Change

By Esther Pipoly, CEO & Founder, LOLA

I worked in the employee benefits division for 20-plus years, and throughout that time, I had the benefit of working with many insurance brokers. When I exited the insurance industry to start LOLA in 2016, I had a lot of insight into brokers who worked for their clients and brokers who showed up and left.

I have always had respect for Brokers because they were the hunters, and we (Account Managers) were the day-to-day problem solvers and managers of relationships. Since 2016, when I started LOLA, I have had the privilege of meeting some of the Best Industry Professionals across the country. Professional women and men who genuinely do their best for their clients and their teams. They seek out the next best product, investigate and find new and improved solutions for their clients. They always want to learn more to be the Best. So WHY am I writing about this?!

With that said, I was eating brunch this past weekend, and who should walk in but one of the WORST brokers I ever worked with, and for~ I immediately felt sick.

Until that moment at Sunday brunch, I had tried entirely to forget about this old broker/boss. But WHOA, the flashbacks and memories of working for a very unpleasant person came over me like a wave. As soon as I saw him, I could not push past the memories of a time I had tried to suppress. 

Immediately the memories came flooding back: while we were presenting to a client, he kicked me from beneath the table; another time, he scolded me for an error, and there were incidences of this person in my face breathing down my neck. I watched him make promises to new prospective clients of things he nor I could not produce. There were so many things, but I should stop here ~ I had tried to erase him, and the time we worked together from my memory.

The Fall season is about change, and while this BLOG is not about the leaves turning or the weather finally getting cooler, it is about change and looking back on my life and career. In that Brunch moment, I realized I had gone through difficult moments in my career. And therefore, creating LOLA was so important to me. As I walked out of the restaurant, a small part of me thought ~ Thank you for reminding me how strong I am. Welcome, Fall. Change is good.

Meltdowns

Meltdowns were happening before we all had to go home. We would call each other and tell each other how much work we had and how busy we were and how tired we were... then one day it all started to change, and as each day grew into another, we had to slow down, pivot, and find new ways to communicate, work with our clients and coworkers. Let’s face it, we all watched paint dry on the wall.

Our new norm has been to cram as many Zoom or WebEx calls into a day to feel like we were still busy and not losing ground. We have been tirelessly trying to figure out how to balance kids, spouses, and work all the while watching the world slowly come to a pause.

So, as I start to review emails coming in from different groups and publications taking notice of the Mental Health of their workforce and providing resources, I want to share my thoughts with you.

These last few weeks have felt like the time period right after my husband died when I felt sad and heavy and numb. I started to have the classic STERBS again, you know, eating, drinking, shopping too much. I was doing some things like an Indy 500 driver and other things like a sloth. I could not find balance. When he passed, grief and depression found me on my employer's 5th-floor bathroom floor. Crying so hard I could not catch my breath. I didn’t see the signs coming at me until I was there, in that space on the floor.

So, in these last few weeks, I have had to “check myself” and find new ways to love myself. I have had to slow down, remember to make lists and find time to love my family. Because NOW, will never happen again. Making dinner together, eating together, watching tv, taking walks together, or just talking outside will be hard to do once we start to re-enter the new frontier. So LIVE in the NOW.

The publications and emails are not wrong, some of us are at home and isolated and not handling things so well, and others are filling up the space so tight we feel our heads are going to pop off and when we return to work, we will be exhausted and have a Meltdown.

SO, take a deep breath 4,3,2, 1...in and out and breathe.

If you need support, there are several resources we can point you to for help. We work with a team of wonderful professionals. We are here to be a heart with ears for you and most of all remember you are LOVED.

www.lossoflifeadvocates.com